


Dirty Dancing

by ShadowstarKanada



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Crack, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-13
Updated: 2007-05-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:09:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22523026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowstarKanada/pseuds/ShadowstarKanada
Summary: There was definitely a bet involved.





	Dirty Dancing

Cameron slipped into the seat beside Cuddy at Chippendale's, her dark hair combed forward so no one would notice who she was. "I didn't think I'd see so many nurses here," she said to Cuddy, who had just finished stuffing a five dollar bill into someone's belt.

"Ladies' night out," replied Cuddy. "This is the first one you've come to, isn't it?"

"Yes." Cameron looked around, feeling vaguely embarrassed and wishing she'd kept some of the meth. _At least House isn't here_ , she thought, knowing he'd hold it over all of them if he knew about these little outings. But then again, he hadn't said as much about her and Chase as she'd thought he would, so maybe he really didn't care. "You have these _every_ month?"

"Every few months," corrected Cuddy. "It's a good way to get some feminine bonding time in. The main show should be starting soon. You'll like it. They've got this guy, biggest non-steroid muscles you've ever seen!"

Cameron rolled her eyes. "Big muscles aren't really my type," she said disdainfully. Her type was much smarter than a big muscle man.

"You haven't seen these ones," said Cuddy with a smile. "They're _dancers_ ," she added, as if that meant anything.

 _I should have known_ , thought Cameron. _Anyone who encourages House's sexual harassment has to be about as shallow as they come. No wonder House tries to stay under her radar._

The lights started going down in preparation for the main event. As far as Cameron was concerned, this was going to be the most boring thing ever- some random man with big muscles taking off everything but a thong, probably _pole dancing_... It wasn't as though she had lots of free time to waste on this kind of thing, and she didn't think Cuddy did either.

She signaled to one of the waiters and got a glass of white wine then turned her attention back to the stage as the whistles and catcalls started up.

"Before our main act," came an announcement over the speakers, "we have a special request to fulfill. Ladies, put your cash away and get ready for some amateur action!"

Beside her, Cuddy frowned. "Amateurs? I hate when they do this... We want Vlad!" A number of the other nurses agreed, and a chant went up for this 'Vlad' person.

Whoever the announcer was, he ignored the boos and calls. "The doctors are in the house!"

Cameron and Cuddy both looked around in alarm. Maybe it was just paranoia, but working with Gregory House would make anyone paranoid when that kind of call went out in a strip club. It seemed that they were the only ones who were nervous about it, though, what with the cheering that had gone up, so Cameron turned her attention back to the stage as the last calls for the star male stripper died off.

Her mouth dropped open when she did.

Chase stood on the stage, looking cocky- _what a poor choice of words!_ Cameron's eyes travelled down and she wondered what Chase had on underneath the doctor's lab coat, but before she could picture it, Foreman had taken the stage. He pulled out his stethoscope and- Cameron's eyes widened. _That's just not hygienic!_ her mind cried in dismay.

And that was when Wilson came out, his face red under the lights. He went straight for the pole in the middle of the stage, hooked his legs around it, and proceeded to show himself to be a bit more of an acrobat than Cameron had suspected.

Foreman and Chase were attempting the same, but apparently weren't as skilled or flexible. Where Wilson's legs were around the top of the pole, Foreman and Chase were apparently still trying to lift themselves up. Wilson's lab coat had fallen down over his shoulders, leaving very little to the imagination about what had been under it.

"Take it off!" cried one woman. Chase was only too happy to comply, and Cameron felt a spike of irrational jealousy- she didn't love Chase, but somehow she wasn't so happy to share. Chase tossed the lab coat off into the crowd of women.

Foreman had managed to climb up the pole, his arms straining, but while he'd been doing that, Wilson had managed to turn himself upside down, his hands now the only thing keeping him on the pole. Cameron licked her lips and stared raptly at Wilson's package, almost falling out of the Speedo he'd donned for this performance. "I never knew Wilson was so..."

This apparently drew Cuddy's interest. She turned her head quickly. "Doctor Wilson!" she yelled, horrified.

There was a moment where Wilson's eyes widened and his head turned to Cuddy. It was a long moment, a deer-in-headlights moment, and at the end of it, Wilson's hands slipped. The fall to the floor was longer than it should have been, and the sound wasn't loud enough to carry over the music, but with the number of medical professionals in the audience- and on the stage- it didn't really matter.

Foreman slid down his pole, adept as any fireman, and rushed to Wilson, immediately talking to him. Even though he was clad in nothing more than his own tiny underwear, Chase went to Wilson's side as well. He caught Foreman's attention and pointed at his neck. Foreman nodded gravely, then mimed a telephone back.

Cameron closed her eyes. _Damn it, why are men so incapable of everything?_ she wondered. She stood and went to the DJ and turned the music off. "Call an ambulance," she said.

Several of the nurses and a few of the ER trauma doctors had taken to the stage and were dealing with the situation up there. Chase's face was getting as red as Wilson's had been when they came out, and Foreman was clearly covering his embarrassment with professionalism.

By the time the ambulance had arrived, PPTH's favourite doctor was relatively stable. His vitals had been checked, and although Foreman had diagnosed a grade 3 concussion, he was lucky enough that no one was mentioning a spinal cord injury with any seriousness.

Cameron shook her head and followed the paramedics as the put Wilson into the ambulance, leaning against the wall beside House. "Thanks for inviting me," she said sweetly. "Wilson sure knows how to liven up a night."

House just scowled.


End file.
